Overheard in My Head
by LittleBrotherSocket
Summary: In which I take random quotes from an "Overheard at" university page and turn them into fabulous oneshots for all the world to enjoy. Many ships. Many Black Ravens. Many awesome. You should probably read this, because "Procrastination is the quickest road to genius."-Anonymous (justkiddingthatwastotallymejustnowactually) (I don't actually know why it's K-plus. XD)


**Hey, guys!**

 **So, it's finals week, and I have a final in t-minus seven hours, and I _should_ be studying, but I'm not! Instead, I'm starting a new series of oneshots! Isn't that _way_ more fun?!**

 **The inspiration for this is a social media page that my school has. It's called "Overheard at *insert university name here*". Pretty much, people just quote things they've heard other students say, and it's usually _way_ out of context, and hilarious. So, tonight, I was scrolling through, and I saw a post by someone I know, and I was sort of partially able to speculate who they were quoting, and it sort of became really important for me to know the context and stuff, so I decided to write about it, but _then_ I decided to write it into a fic instead, so YAY!**

 **Anyway, here's the first installment of a randomly inspired series of short fics. Hope you enjoy! ;)**

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 **(Disclaimer: I do not own this quote, or the post that quoted this quote, or the original quoter of this quote, or the page on which it was quoted.)**

 **Overheard:** _"If I end up marrying her, I'm going to be pissed."-12/8/15, around 1am_

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"Why would you do that?!" Crow stormed down the tunnel that led to the black market—not the public tunnel, mind you, but the secret tunnel, used only by the Black Ravens themselves. Water dripped from the ceiling, echoing in the dimly lit cavern as he walked, his strides long and fierce, his face bent into a scowl. Badger fumbled along behind him.

"I'm sorry, boss," the taller boy muttered, his voice raspy and quiet.

Crow threw open the door that led to the back room. Antiques and junk alike lined the walls, sitting on the cold concrete, some in old, wooden crates, some draped with white cloths, like childish ghosts in some cheap horror film, or every impoverished Misthallery kid on Halloween—that is, every impoverished Misthallery kid who wasn't clever and creative enough to run an underground market. The Black Ravens were better than that.

"Honestly, Badge." Crow shook his head. "I thought you were better than this."

"I'm sorry." Badger's shoulders were slumped as he shuffled along behind his leader. He was actually sort of surprised. He'd never seen Crow act like this before. Usually, things like this would be met with a careless shrug, or a passive-aggressive glance to the side, if he was in a really bad mood, but actually confronting someone—and _Badger,_ of all people? This was absolutely unheard of.

 _Crow must be really worked up over this,_ Badger thought to himself. He pursed his lips, and decided it best to remain silent.

Crow tossed aside the crimson stage curtains, making his way onto the wooden platform. The big, empty auction house spread out before him. The spotlight shone in his dirty-colored hair. His blue hat cast a shadow over his face. He came to the edge of the stage, then stopped, looking out over the room.

Badger came and stood beside him, but just barely behind him. His hands scrunched apprehensively into fists as he waited for Crow to speak.

There was only silence. The light shone over their faces, glittering in the specks of dust as they drifted by, highlighting the shadowy dimness of the rest of the room. It was late afternoon, almost evening, and all the Ravens were about their own business, about ready to call it a day.

Badger had been doing the same just minutes before. He'd been walking around, scouting out something to do, wishing running an underground operation was as fun as it sounded. It was fun, just not all the time. There were no new customers. There were no big discoveries. There were only him and his friends, and maybe that's why he stuck around.

That's who he went to when his search for excitement fell flat. He'd sort of just meandered around, not really initiating a conversation with anyone, but talking with anyone who would talk to him. He'd talked with Marilyn a bit, then Scraps, then listened to Nabby complain until he'd felt like his ears would fall off, and then he'd gone back to wandering.

He'd been just about to head for the underground when he ran into Wren—quite literally, actually. He was just turning the corner and, being much taller than the girl, he'd bumped into her, nearly knocking her over. He apologized profusely.

"Geez, Badger. You might be good at runnin', but I dunno about walkin'." She giggled.

His face had gone numb. That sort of happened a lot, mostly just around Wren. It got all prickly and hot, and then it went numb, then he couldn't tell what it was doing anymore, let alone control it. He cleared his throat. "Where's Socket?"

She shrugged. "He's off fixin' something, so I'm just wanderin'."

He nodded.

"Whatcha up to?"

He shrugged. "Nothin', I guess."

She'd giggled again. "Bored?"

He shrugged. "Not anymore, no." He felt a smile tug at the corner of his mouth.

Wren giggled.

That's when he'd looked up to see Crow, standing a few yards ahead of him, behind Wren, tapping his foot on the ground, his face straight and hard.

Now, Badger stood, looking at Crow, waiting for him to say something, only halfway knowing what had set him off, wondering if he was going to own up.

Crow pursed his lips, then sighed. He sunk down on the edge of the platform, hanging his legs off the front, leaning forward on his elbows, resting his chin in his hands. His cheeks scrunched up under his fingers. "Y'know, Badge," he said, his voice quiet and calm, traced with hints of sadness, "there's a certain code—a code of manhood, I guess."

Badger nodded once.

"That code says that, when your mate likes a girl, you don't go flirtin' with her and all that, y'know?"

Badger dropped his gaze, then nodded again.

Crow sighed, leaning back on his hands. "The problem is, I get the feeling a lot of us sort of like the same girl, seeing as there are really only two good ones in this bleedin' town."

Badger looked up at him, almost smiling. "Yeah."

Crow looked at him now, his face unreadable. "So… I guess I can't really be mad at you, seeing as we're mates and all."

Badger shrugged.

Crow leaned forward again, leaning his cheek on his hand. "That doesn't mean I'm gonna stand by and let you get the upper hand, though." His voice was muffled by the way his cheek was scrunched, making him sound sort of pitiful.

Badger shrugged. "Wren's fair game, mate. Until someone gets her, anyone has a chance."

Crow glanced up at him, then narrowed his eyes, blowing air through his lips. "Fine," he muttered, his voice still squished. "I won't be mad at you now, but there's one thing you should keep in mind."

Badger cocked his head.

"If I end up marrying her, I'm going to be pissed."

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 **(Still one of my favorite ships. X3)**

 **Hope you guys liked it! Keep in mind that this isn't 100% the actual quoted story in my head. I changed it up a _lot_ to fit my fanfiction agenda. XD**

 **God bless!**

 **-LittleBrotherSocket**


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